Setting Personal Boundaries Part 3 – Relationships and Morality

As we continue in our series on setting personal boundaries, we will explore the intricacies of setting boundaries in the area of relationship with the opposite sex.

You may belong to the school of thought that believes every adult has the right to do whatever they like. However, personal boundaries are necessary for everyone when it comes to relationships especially for young people just starting out in life. Setting boundaries act as a defence against all kinds of assaults they would encounter in the course of life, and a guiding light that leads and directs when the chips are down.

There are times in life when due to many factors, the temptation to do almost anything weigh so heavily on a person's mind. Setting personal boundaries when entering higher education, for example, may be a necessity at a time when it has become common for university girls to date solely for the purpose of getting money off men. It is only a conscious decision and determination not to engage in such a practice that may be the only voice of reason when there is none around.

When a person is in the midst of everyone behaving badly, the natural tendency is to follow the multitude to do evil. This is often regardless of a person’s natural disposition and pedigree. The reality is that it is more difficult to follow the narrow road when everyone else is on the broad road and they are beckoning for you to come. Often people follow the multitude to act badly simply for the fun of it, some people do not want to be the odd one out. Whatever the cause, no one can afford to go through life making decisions that would affect their entire life with such flippancy.

Many people have been on the path to becoming great in life, only for a photograph or story from their youth to become public knowledge and stifle their path to greatness. Barack Obama, who is constantly praised as a hero and role model to blacks has shown how important it is to live right and to have a plan for the future. Anyone who sets their hearts to greatness must definitely have the future in mind when making everyday decisions even when no one is watching. There simply is no point in pursuing a reckless life and then going on to pursue a career that will expose you to scrutiny.

For many people, a reckless life starts as a bit of fun meant to last for only one day or one experience. It soon becomes an occurrence a second time, and perhaps a third time and eventually a fourth and fifth and then a habit. At this stage it becomes hard to retrace your steps and a person can wonder how they got to this habit as they may not be able to recollect their passage from point A to point G.

Many people who are responsible adults with thriving businesses and families regret their past recklessness, though they felt at the time, they were in control at the time. Some young girls might have joined friends in dating older rich men becoming the biggest ‘aristo’ in town. Life however soon moves on and what seemed so fashionable then now becomes so disgusting and damaging. Some people are never able to rid themselves of the ‘aristo’ tag for life.

This is often an irony that life presents. What appears so interesting today becomes an object of reproach tomorrow. I have heard it said that anyone who learns everything in life by experience is a fool. Why go through an experience to learn your lesson when you can learn from the firsthand experience of numerous other people who had walked the ugly path.

Setting personal boundaries will help you to say ‘these are things I can never do no matter what’. This is probably the only way you can live in a society where decadence is the order of the day. Young girls and young men often date men and women they have no business with, giving the easy excuse that they are hard-up, or there is no way to pay my fees without the help of my ‘rich man.’ The reality is that there are so many other people all over the globe who are in more serious need, who however do not result to finding money by sleeping with a rich man old enough to be their father.

Whether you are young or old, it is never too late to put boundaries in place for yourself. You need to think of who you are and to what you aspire in life; and on the back of this you can say ‘this action is beneath me, or I will never cross this line’.

Below are a few pointers in this direction:

1. What seems totally acceptable to you today may be terribly repulsive tomorrow. Setting boundaries will help you not to cross lines that you may regret in the future.
2. Some things you do in life are impossible to erase, so think of the future when you make decisions today.
3. Having money to hand is not everything, a good name they say is better than gold. Do not allow money to rule your life.
4. Your life, body and soul is worth far more that money can buy, you are priceless and must see yourself as such.
5. Do not join multitude to do evil. Differentiate yourself.
6. Set personal boundaries on morality and relationship with the opposite sex, and you will not regret you did.

We all benefit when we do things right!

Stop Press - The impressive wedding ceremony of Kate Middleton and Prince William earlier today is a case in point for this article. A far-reaching background check would have been made on the young lady turning up nothing incriminating. Kate Middleton who is a 'commoner' will now become the future queen of England and mother of a future queen or king.