Etiquette Bank

31 May 2009

How to introduce yourself and write your name

How do you introduce yourself?

The reason for this question is that it is sometimes a very confusing experience when people make the attempt to introduce themselves be it in formal or informal gatherings. Some give three names, which I can handle to an extent; some just give their initials and surname, which doesn’t tell who they are. On a few occasions, a smart alec would respond by saying “my names are”… And if you are in Nigeria, many people respond to the question by preceding their names with a title.

The most confusing is when people say their names and it becomes difficult to figure out which is the given name and which is the surname.

This is not a matter common to verbal introductions alone, some people as a matter of habit write their surnames first even on their business cards. This habit probably developed from school days where the surname is used as a primary key to differentiate students can be confusing and frustrating to business partners or people you are meeting for the first time.

To avoid confusion and embarrassment, the following are useful guidelines in answering the question above whether in writing or verbally:

  1. Your ‘given name’ is also known as ‘your ‘first-name’ or ‘forename’ so it makes sense for it to go ‘first’.
  1. Your inherited name otherwise known as ‘surname’ or ‘family name’ is also known as the ‘last-name’ so it goes ‘last’.
  1. The order of arrangement (applicable to most African, European, North and South American countries) is ‘first-name’ followed by ‘last-name’. In some East Asian countries such as China, Japan and Korea, the order is reversed.
  1. It is also less confusing to say or write your full name, for example, ‘Dayo Adeleye’ rather than ‘J. Adeleye’. Remember ‘J’ is an initial not your name.
  1. You may give an impression of arrogance or grandstanding if you precede your name with a title when introducing yourself. A title is a title, not part of your name and should only normally be used when specifically requested.
  1. However much you may love your middle-name, there is never a need to give your middle name when you introduce yourself except when you are getting married or being sworn in as the President of your country.
  1. Similarly, a middle-name is not a necessity on a business card or when completing an attendance form, say at a seminar. Keep business cards simple and focused on what you are offering.
  1. You may of course write your middle name if specifically requested in a form.
  1. If you have to introduce someone else, you may use their title and both names or just title and surname. For example Mrs Tricia Emeka or Mrs Emeka. In other words, title and first-names do not usually go together except when the person you are introducing is a knight in which case you introduce them as Sir Richard or Sir Richard Branson but never Sir Branson.
  1. Finally, it's not Anan Kofi, it's Kofi Anan; It's not Soyinka Wole, it's Wole Soyinka; It's not Mandela Nelson, it's Nelson Mandela. Don’t forget: first-name first, and last-name last.

We all benefit when we ‘say’ things right!

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr. Badejo,

Just read through the Introducing one's self and writting of names.
You may not know the number of people you are educating. But I tell you they are many. It is really nice to be reminded of things one has learnt long time ago. And actually, this is the time to make effective use of it. Wishing more grace in this good and honorable work.

Best regards
Edward Alabo
234-803-552-1716

idwurd said...

i'm glad someone is taking the lead in educating Nigerians in decorum.with good manners comes acceptance and then self confidence.as the saying goes 'manners maketh a man'.soon we'll behave our nation out of its present malady.
thank you Mr.Badejo

Ojo Ogboadayebe said...

Hello Mr Badejo, I am one of the tranees at the AGDC program. I find this information on introduction highly enlightening. Keep this up, we really need it.
Ojo Oogboadayebe

Olatunde said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Olatunde said...

My names are John Olatunde Fajimi. Is it wrong to use the expression "My names are"? My given name is Olatunde and my Christian name is John. I've been called both by diferent people depending on how I write down my name (which is usually with 'John' first). Should I stop writing John in my name(I respond less to it,anyway) altogether? Should I rather write Olatunde John Fajimi (does this sound correct)? Thank you sir.

PS: Your class at AGDC was easy as Sunday morning. I practice what you taught now.

Etiquette Bank said...

'Mr Fajimi'

1. Your given name or first-name is also referred to as 'Christian name'. In Nigeria, people adopt English or Biblical names at baptism and erroneously refer to this as Christian names.

2. In any event, it is much better and less confusing to stick with one first-name as suggested in the article.

Emeka said...

Good write up Gbenga, I will be facing the task of introducing a lot poeple at a formal event soon; now I understand why I have to adopt the system. Thank you

Godwin Ibrahim said...

I cant forget your classes at Access Training school Ikeja. this is just one of your many ways of teaching us to do things right. Thank you very much

Regards

Anonymous said...

Thank you my sister, I get so frustrated with candidates when they apply for a position and you invite them for an interview...you are so confused of their names and you end up addressing them with their last name, thinking it is their firstname because of the order it is written.

Olayinka Odunaike said...

Bro Gbenga

This is great. I confuse myself and others in the many ways I introduce myself. NCBS is having a seminar nextweek and I have to introduce myself properly.
This is definitely a useful tool to many. God bless your efforts.

From
Olayinka lonlag NCCBC 2007

Anonymous said...

It's really educating! I have three names plus my surname. To me, i'd prefer using the three because they are such sweet names with wonderful meanings. I believe the magic that someones name shapes their destiny, but i'd be lying if i say it isn't always confusing to most people when they don't know the name to refer to you. Thanks, Mr. Badejo.
Don't stop impacting on lives.
Regards.
Treasor.

Anonymous said...

'My name is Bond, James Bond......' is what 007 taught me. but you are right Mr B.

Nii-Acquaye...accra,gh said...

wow, i think this web page helps a lot... whenever i hear people say..'my names are....' is sounds very weird in my ears.. and am glad to confirm the right usage on here...thanks for everything...

Anonymous said...

pls is "my names are" correct? thanks for the good job.

Anonymous said...

This is a very good and necessary correction you have just made.

Thanks for caring