Etiquette Bank

08 May 2008

Joining a queue - Showing respect to others

Recently the question popped in my head “what crosses the average person’s mind when they arrive at a queue?”

I was pushed to wonder what goes through peoples' minds when they see a line. Living in Nigeria as an adult for the very first time in my life has exposed me to a variety of daily experiences. Some are so shocking that I am left speechless and some drive me to want to make a change. One of the questions I have asked myself is why do Nigerians have a tendency to misbehave when they need to join a queue?

Occasionally, one would see a respectable-looking person walk into a fast food restaurant. Immediately they see the queue, they quickly look for a means to get ahead quicker, this may mean squeezing in or pretending to have been on the line previously. Often this kind of behaviour results in a big rancour when other people on the line refuse to be cheated.

My latest experience was at the head office of one of the major banks in Marina, Lagos. This is a grand building which can compete with any of its kind in the other financial districts of the world. The ambiance is enough to make most people put on their best behaviour. Or so I thought!

Having recently visited the building, I was pleasantly surprised to see the new metal scanners and duly obliged by proceeding to hand over my bag to the official at the machine. Just as I was about to place my bag on the moving belt, I was shocked to see a gentleman come from nowhere somehow happened to be faster at handing over his belongings to the guards for scanning. Here I was waiting for my turn to have my bag scanned and before I could do so, someone faster than me had come from behind to do exactly the same.

Needless to say, I was bewildered. This was a man who had clearly ignored me, passed items almost over my head and taken my place on the queue. And it is almost impossible that the man did not see me.

Below are a few questions which may help you identify your attitude to waiting in line:

Do you feel more important than the people you meet on a queue?

Do you assume you are in a legitimate hurry whilst the other people on the queue may be in no rush at all?

Do you assume your time is more precious than the next person’s?

Do you feel so important that you often don’t see the people standing around, who may also be waiting their turn?

Do you feel it is demeaning to wait in line for your turn?

In considering this big problem, I have come to a few conclusions and recommendations:

1. Respecting one another is what makes the world go round. Respect begets more respect. The golden rule everyone should live by says: “Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you.” This truly sums up all that needs to be said. If we put ourselves in other people’s shoes, we would think twice before taking certain actions.

2. Waiting your turn shows that you respect other people on the line.

3. Joining a queue says you are self-confident. Only confident people are able to admit there are others in front of them and wait their turn.

4. Never assume that you or your time is more important than the people queuing in line. This assumption is likely to impair your judgement.

5. Life is so complicated that we need not complicate it further for one another. Waiting your turn in a queue in a post office, wherever, ensures everyone is served fairly in order of arrival.

6. Don’t act like you may be bigger than people queuing even when it seems obvious that you are. It is better for people to recognise and honour you than to be told off for jumping a queue.

As you go about your business this week, please consider this old saying ‘what goes round comes round.’ Let’s do things right remembering that it is doing right that we will change the landscape of our beloved nation. EtiquetteBank

16 comments:

bunmi said...

Your article is both articulate and well written. I hope the readers would take this to heart.

'Bunmi.
MD USA.

King's KID said...

The article is right on the spot, I wish many people around would be able to read this and apply to themselves.

Olatunde
Lagos, Nigeria

folarin said...

'bigmanism' is the root cause. an average nigerian likes to feel like a 'big man' while the others are riff raffs. 'why should a big man queue with riff raffs anyway?'
i blame the people behind the counters who collaborate with queue jumpers. Nigeria used to be orderly during the Idiagbon regime of the early 80s. even in much recent times, i remember, in port harcourt, people naturally queued up at bus stops. its an attitude problem which i believe can be changed. nigerians dont jump qeues when they travel abroad. why do they do it at home? (hope my spelling of queue is correct?)
Folarin UK

Anonymous said...

True, I totally blame the people behind the counter because if I was behind the counter and there was someone shaunting the queue, I would politely ask him to join the queue otherwise, he would not be attended to!!!!!
We've got such a long way to go!!!!

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs Badejo,

You know that we appreciate your work and also your not to be faulted good manners. It is good that you have this site to sensitise the public. It might seem to be a monumental task but if you keep it up you will influence people positively. 'My people perish for lack of knowledge' and you are saying, banish the thought. Keep on shining!
Grace Oluyemi Oshunniyi

Anonymous said...

Well done! This is a very important issue. I have had similar experiences and it just makes me wonder.You are doing a good job by this sensitization I am sure this message will change our attitude and the nation in time to come.

Chinwe Okonkwo

Dayo UK said...

Sis Tinuke,

I have had similar encounters and I had a really funny one last month when I went to Lagos at the airport. I wanted to get a trolley and naturally a queue formed but to my utmost disgust a lady went straight in front of this queue of about 5 people and then said sorry sarcastically and paid for her trolley and walked off as if she had scored one over the 5 of us on the queue. I blame the people at the counter that condone this type of indiscipline. They should tell them politely to join the queue. I hope Mrs Badejo's Etiquette bank will affect people living in Nigeria for good.

Dayo
UK

Anonymous said...

Hi Tinuke,

Firstly, I must congratulate you on the Etiquette Bank concept. It is long overdue for Nigeria.

As much as I appreciate what you are doing, I am of the opinion, that the lack of etiquette generally displayed in Nigeria is symptomatic of a deeper malaise that currently afflicts Nigeria.

When we were young and growing up in Nigeria, we were taught to say please, thank you and also to queue and be orderly. All these traits had to be exhibited at all times. Even at the homes where house helps were present, children were taught to respect these helpers.

In the Nigeria of today, the so-called ‘affluent’ people in society have no respect for anything or anybody. These parents carry around the notion that they can speak to anybody as they like and willingly do wrong things without recourse. Unfortunately, the children pick up these traits and attitudes and ultimately, we have a self-perpetuating problem.

As Nigerians, we have lost the concept of humility, which is a fundamental aspect of Etiquette. As a nation, we need to go back to first principles, re-examine our ways and pray for healing in our land.

Dapo

Anonymous said...

Dear Sis Tinuke

I applaud you on what you are doing at the Etiquette Bank. I know it cost nothing to be polite and respectful and manners says a lot about your upbringing. I hope this message will strike a blow in someone's heart. Treat your neighbour as you expected to be treated sometimes we need to remind people.

All the best.

Sis Angela Reid

Anonymous said...

Dear Mrs Badejo,
Thank you for this wonderful message, however im wondering how this message can be spread faster and wider and to the entire nigerian society. I came out of a bank on Kudirat Abiola way Oregun, Ikeja, about one hour ago, and i had similar experience on the queue waiting to be attended to by the bank tellers, instead of following the queue some persons simply walked to the cashiers and are attended to, and im just holding my peace just so i don't scream since im a pastor. so you can see that this has to be a major campaign for attitudinal change because many times if one remains on the queue he may never get attended to, infact even the people rendering the service will consider such person as a fool or a weakling. well that doesn't mean we should succumb to such wrong behaviour. I am just saying its got to be a major crusade because it portrays Nigerians as animals.

Please Keep up the good work.

SoloKay

Charles Ibi... said...

A 78 year old man related an experience he had at a bank in Nigeria recently. When asked to join a queue to collect money, he enquired from the bank staff if they've got an ambulance ready in case he slumps while on d queue. Anyway, they allowed him to jump d queue but after collecting his bucks a young and classroom-educated man said "but it was my turn" to the cashier. d old man turned on him and asked "do u have elders at home? and do u want me to give you a gift for life?"
Moral of d story: apply etiquette and wisdom at all times. I think part of the problem of our generation is that we've lost our cultural values and replaced them with d negatives of imported lifestyles.
When our children cannot speak or understand the language spoken in their homeland, when we don't respect our seniors/elders, when we have the mindset that "our own" is archaic... then we cause serious damage, directly or indirectly, in the long run to ourselves and our communities.
Why do you think an un-enlightened believer thinks Jesus/God is a foreigner and not from his immediate locality?

Very interesting blog u've got here Mrs. Badejo.
Charles

Etiquette Bank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Etiquette Bank said...

I agree with Charles above and I must clarify that etiquette is not about some imported ideas, etiquette is the acceptable way of doing things.

We do have our own etiquette in Africa, particularly Nigeria where respect for the elderly is a major part of our culture. It is actually good etiquette to prefer older people, the disabled or women before us especially in the case you highlighted.

Thank you for your contribution.

Anonymous said...

"Lucid...I'm glad i didn't overlook this article. I've learnt something today."

Adaora Nnaji.

Unknown said...

Stumbled on our blog.u are doing a good job.want 2 comment on dat story about d 78yr old man.since he cldn't wait,i think it was only polite he apologised to the rest people on d the queue. while we should respect our elders,it is not right lots of old people exploit that. they think can get away with anything and use their age as an excuse.old age is over rated.we will all grow old some day.
elusive kate.

Anonymous said...

I have been reading this blog for some time now, somehow am tempted to say that observing good etiquette is equivalent to preparing oneself for heaven. U are doing a great job, keep it up.
Arinze, UNIBEN